Happy New Month! I pray this month births awesome memories
and experiences that will propel us to our next level.
THERE’S A THIN LINE BETWEEN SELF-RIGHTEOUSNESS AND FAITH –Part 1
It hit me like a gust of wind….
I have heard and I am tired of hearing the different interpretations of the very popular verse on faith - Hebrews 11:1... I am tired of hearing “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not yet seen....” You begin to wonder so if God knows
what I want even before I say it, why do I need to ask or have faith? And then the cherry on the cake - you have the story of the father of faith, which has become a story that I can
repeat without the help of the Bible. Father Abraham was a man of great faith,
He waited on God for so many years and still believed that he would have a son, even after himself and
his wife had passed childbearing age.
Mehn!!! I still have my questions for when I meet him in Heaven.
But I must confess, I find His story very fascinating and
hope that my faith with the help of the Holy Spirit will attract the same
fascination that it draws. To be honest, I think it is God’s desire for us to
get to a level of faith that defiles all human logic-
But unfortunately we have
so many things, baggage, voices, people and emotions that hinder us or slow
down the process of getting to that level.
I realised one of these many roadblocks today and had to
fight my way out with the help of the Holy Spirit while learning first hand what "Faith" is….
So I find myself in THE position when nothing else seems to be
working “my way” where I know I can reach God.
…. But let’s rewind to the moment before I found myself in this
position.
I have been spending a lot of time with God and the Holy
Spirit, praying more frequently than usual, worshipping more, reading my Bible
more and gaining deep understanding of The Word. I could feel myself growing in
confidence, in The Word, in God and in Faith. I was always excited and knew
that it was the joy of The Lord. I had so many things going south
in my life but I just had this unspeakable joy
and knew it was the Holy Spirit. Then soon after, I started declaring things,
praying for people and seeing these declarations and prayers happen/answered
before my very eyes. I was so happy and excited
that indeed God was true and was
answering my prayers in just the way that I asked. This built my faith and I
carried on making more declarations, claimed my benefits in Christ and prayed
for people believing that it was going to happen.
I would only have to pray and forget about it because I knew
it was done. I was marveling in this new found faith and was almost doing the MC
Hammer dance.
It was almost like God sat on His throne and
was looking at me with amusement in His eyes at how “good” I thought I was
doing…
So on this particular occasion, I prayed about a need and was waiting for specific answers to the prayer. Things that
looked like the answer came and I knew straight away that it wasn’t “it”. Even
though everyone around me kept saying “why not try this, what about this one?”
I knew that there had to be more! I knew that God had the best!
Then finally, I thought the best had come, it was all we
wanted and then some, but something was fighting my faith and ability to accept
it.
I went away praying and trusting
God. Then it happened… I started declaring that was what I WANTED. I kept
dreaming about it, I was almost coveting it and was beginning to lose sleep over
it. I would spend hours praying about it – Not because that was what God
wanted, but what I wanted and I thought all I had to do was declare it mine
like I had done in the past and more or less exercise my faith… Professing what
is not as though it was.
A day, two days, three days passed and no confirmation of
what I wanted but instead I could feel my faith waning and my trust was fast
becoming a myth!....
….To be continued…
Hadassah.A
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